We’re very pleased to announce that from today Kelston Roundhill is an Enlightenment Meadow. We applied to become a Coronation Meadow under Prince Charles scheme announced today, but were edged in Somerset by Chancellors Farm, Priddy Nr Wells (which does look fab btw).

Bath has been a bit unpopular with Royals since a sniffy local article about the young Victoria looking frumpy. No doubt we were also marked down (or even blackballed) because Kelston Roundhill was used as a lookout point for the Battle of Lansdown. Monarchs have long memories and can be unforgiving about murderous popular uprisings. But that was all a long time ago. Kelston is now a place of peace and mature reflection.

NB anyone can use any of our photos for non-commercial purposes. Copyright maximalists such as PA Media Group Ltd are expressly forbidden from using our photos. We may have to take the unusual step of banning PA Media Group Ltd directors, staff and contracted photographers from Kelston Roundhill; this is under discussion.

To dissipate any possible sense of disappointment our side we’ve decided instead to be the first field in the UK to self-declare as an Enlightenment Meadow, a place for free thinking, learning, scientific exploration, and individual self-determination.

Best wishes meanwhile to our hard-working Queen, who has done a terrific job for 60 years. Like all enlightened visitors: welcome.