We’re very pleased to announce that from today Kelston Roundhill is an Enlightenment Meadow. We applied to become a Coronation Meadow under Prince Charles scheme announced today, but were edged in Somerset by Chancellors Farm, Priddy Nr Wells (which does look fab btw).

Bath has been a bit unpopular with Royals since a sniffy local article about the young Victoria looking frumpy. No doubt we were also marked down (or even blackballed) because Kelston Roundhill was used as a lookout point for the Battle of Lansdown. Monarchs have long memories and can be unforgiving about murderous popular uprisings. But that was all a long time ago. Kelston is now a place of peace and mature reflection.To dissipate any possible sense of disappointment our side we’ve decided instead to be the first field in the UK to self-declare as an Enlightenment Meadow, a place for free thinking, learning, scientific exploration, and individual self-determination.

Best wishes meanwhile to our hard-working Queen, who has done a terrific job for 60 years. Like all enlightened visitors: welcome.